Cap

There are no shortcuts. Only short bridges.

Finger of God.

Asked her out but she gave me the cold shoulder :(

When I see one of these I immediately go for my pants. I’d rather have a damp thigh for 10 minutes than deal with this thing.

I don’t see the nutshell.

Hello. Yes, I’d like one nightmare for the evening, please.

What a waste of a $200+ text book!

Mine is the infinity debt stone.

Life IS hard which us why I don’t have time to care much about the more superficial things in life. Your Door Dash food is cold? Well, cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it! My sh*tter’s full and my only other option is a log in the poison ivy patch!

It’s like you’re having a bad week and you have that one friend that is there to support you through thick and thin. Meanwhile, three of your other friends are patting you on the back saying, “Hey, buddy…tough break - hang in there, man. Gotta go!”

Knowing my luck I’ll get the Poltergeist house.

I’m just glad people are still naming their kids Tony.