I, too, appreciate you doing this write-up. For my past, I have some decades under my belt, and I recognize that small talk accomplishes what you describe. My wanting to carry a “certificate” is precisely because small talk has never become natural to me, regardless of the (moderate) effort I’ve put in. It felt weird when I was a kid, and it’s continued to be so through all the years.

I’ve made some great friendships, and the ones that have lasted have been the folks who never really needed small talk from me. They get where I’m coming from, and (quite thoughtfully) most have done what they can to soften things when taking me into larger group settings.

Tangentially, it was quite later in my life than it should have been that I realized I almost never am the person to end a conversation, especially on the phone, barring for urgent matters or upcoming sppointments. I just stick in there doing my part until the other person has somewhere else to be, not because I’m enjoying myself, but because it never occurred to me that choosing to end the conversation for any reason other than actual need felt like I was breaking some protocol.

All this to say, it seems I missed the day in skills handouts when I was supposed to have a chance for any kind of knack at this. And I’m fine with that.

The trick isn’t to say the most interesting thing in the room or ask interesting questions, it’s to be interested.

OK, but, like… I’m not interested. I have a strong interest in others viewing me nonthreateningly, because I have no interest in causing harm or taking advantage of others and would rather not be viewed suspiciously. But the actual mechanics of small talk are dull and uninteresting to me. I could walk through the motions, and generally do when I have to, but the kind of energy and attention it takes for me to do that while also being aware of anything else is exhausting. I’m perfectly happy being on the sidelines or simply not in attendance at all. I just want to be able to carry some sort of authentication or certificate that indicates “Normal People including Jeff T., Paul R., Caitlin P., Rilee L., and Jaime A. all vouch for me being safe and trustworthy. If you don’t know any of them, I can provide further references.”

Life is also about not wasting your time on the problems that are too costly for you to resolve while you have other things to worry about.

This life is not so simple and pleasant as to give everyone the opportunity to figure out how to solve every one of their problems, least of all those whose physiology or neurochemistry make certain of those problems significantly more difficult for them than for others.

Increased hangover even with less alcohol kicked in for me in my early 30s, but mine was likely due to interaction with prescribed medications I’m still on. Either way, my organs thank me.

More easily said than done, for some of us.

He didn’t have the right skills for the current meta.

In 2028, the 23rd will be a Saturday, so that year’s 23rd is the 22nd.

You’re not wrong.

The only truly cool answer is to not give a shit at all. Let the kids have their own understanding of “cool”, they’ll be forced out of it soon enough.

Also, this sort of “cool” is really just reliant on having the time and access to keep up with whatever the rules of that society are. This is the same kind of thinking used to make rules like “don’t wear white after Labor Day” as a means to ostracize people who didn’t have the kind of time and gossip circles to hear about the new rules. It’s all gatekeeping bullshit. Fine for the people in the club, I guess, but the part where they try to make other people lesser for not being in the know is where they can just become dicks not worthy of worrying about.

Nearly all of our elections are first-pqst-the-post. Also so much of the public discourse around political parties reinforces the two-party system, such that people tend to be very against or at least wary of third parties. It’s certainly possible for 3rd party candidates to make it to the federal/national legislature (“state” to us is one of the 50 primary divisions of the country, rather than the country itself as is used so many other places). But since so few do, there is not really enough political will at one time to overturn the homeostasis that the self-interest of the two major parties’ power almost inherently enforces.

Could it happen? Sure. The pathway exists. But the liklihood in having enough people in the legislature at once willing to do it is quite low. There would have to be a huge change in how the populace views our system, and while there have been opportunities in the past for that to build (we are in one now), they have always fizzled out in the past.

Most Anericam voters, regardless of what position they’re voting for, tend to choose one of the two major parties, or no one at all. The exceptions happen when someone not in those parties makes duch a name for themselves that they can convince voters to deviate from that “comfortable” norm.

It’s also possible for people elected as a member of one of the parties to also support changing the very system that elected them for the better. It just takes a politician with more integrity than loyalty to a party.

When the party has tools to retaliate (censure, primarying the politician in their next election, removal of committees/assignments, etc.) it makes it even harder for those politicians to stick around long enough to sufficiently fill the political body they serve in to make change.

Excuse me. But the French damn well have a word for sixty: soixante. And the counting keeps going normally right up to 70, which reads as Sixty Ten. That goes up to Sixty Nineteen, and THEN Four Twenties.

They say it’s healthy to self-exploit several times per month.

How do you exploit that which is too broken to run?

The UK doesn’t have 100 weeks in its year? No wonder y’all lost the Empire.

That is just not where legs go.