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anachronist@midwest.social to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 1 year ago

Jeff's magic money machine

midwest.social

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Jeff's magic money machine

midwest.social

anachronist@midwest.social to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

    Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

    • HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You know it won’t

    • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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      1 year ago

      The bill will come in nine months though. You have spend it within the month.

  • cymbal_king@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Easy, buy up a bunch of land for conservation

    • qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website
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      1 year ago

      Property can take a while to close — offer to title in under 30 days is on the quick side.

      Of course, you could probably close very fast if you offered 100M cash on a 10M property…

      • Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If you’re buying vacant land and paying cash, you can close really quickly as there’s nothing in need of inspection, and loan processing times aren’t a factor… I have a buddy who just purchased 100+ acres of vacant land from a logging company. He paid cash and was able to close in just a few weeks.

  • dditty@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. 😁

  • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.

    Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.

    • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Dude, you only have 100 million.

  • DrDominate@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Genie never said they’d give me a 100M to spend in the first place. No way I’d be able to spend 100M that I don’t have.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      This reminds me of a scam I fell for in Eve Online once

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        I wonder whether Eve has more or less scams per capita (player) than Roblox or Runescape

  • squid_slime@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Build and fund a Marxist think tank, think tank of the Proletariat

  • Stern@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “Can I invest in crypto”

    “I already said no throwing it away”

    • JaN0h4ck@feddit.org
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      1 year ago

      No gambling also applies

  • Prunebutt@slrpnk.net
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    1 year ago

    Ever heard of this game called “Star Citizen”?

    • macniel@feddit.org
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      1 year ago

      from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D

  • win95@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    Easy. Buy 100 homes in my city. Become a landlord. Barely ask rent so it’s technically not gifting. Use my infinite money to maintain the homes so people have affordable decent housing. Profit for all!

    • andrewta@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Short time later your homes are in ruins and your broke from continuously fixing your houses.

      • DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        I sincerely doubt that the maintenance bill for 100 houses is going to exceed a billion dollars any time in for foreseeable future.

      • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Found the idle rent seeker, or worse, a bootlicker for idle rent seekers.

        There is a reason why capitalists and socialists both hate landlords, they are a relic of feudalism.

        • andrewta@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          You sound like you need a warm cookie and a glass of milk

  • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    Give it all away anyway. Screw that genie, wealth hoarding jerk. At worst he kills you and you leave a saintly legacy.

    • leopold@lemmy.kde.social
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      1 year ago

      seems better to just spend the 100M like he wants and then just give the remaining 900M away.

  • NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth
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    1 year ago

    Treasury bonds here I come

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      1 year ago

      Investments are probably covered under “gambling”.

  • FarmTaco@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Ill show up to dealership row and just start buying out car dealerships until I hit 100m and have that done in an afternoon

    • itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 year ago

      Bad investment, you can’t resell them for nearly as much and you’ve contributed to the automobile industry that is lobbying hard against climate change policy

      I’d start buying up mid-sized companies and reorganizing them as worker co-ops. Doing some long-term good while not violating the terms of the contract

      If you’re just after the money, do as every billionaire looking to launder some money does and buy art.

      • FarmTaco@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        no way are you finishing a company takeover in a month

  • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Using AWS already fits into rule #3.

    • andrewta@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Sorry what is AWS?

      • mormund@feddit.org
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        1 year ago

        Amazon Web Services, the largest cloud provider in the world

        • marx2k@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Sorry what is a cloud?

          • madjo@feddit.nl
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            1 year ago

            Those white fluffy things in the sky.

            • marx2k@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              I’m sorry what is the sky?

              • madjo@feddit.nl
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                1 year ago

                the blue thing above your head

                • redisdead@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  What blue thing?

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