All those things are pretty sexy

You should try it, I like the crunch

Der Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher.

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“I’m sure they’ll be fine for a bit without me, this trip only took me about 2000-ish years.”

I was 28 before my mom told me I’ve had a lazy eye since I was a teen.

Now I have Trivium stuck in my head

There’s a restaurant in my town that everyone knows is just a money laundering scheme, but it’s been there for like 10 years now so I guess no one can prove it.

I second this.