Are you aware how much a printed newspaper costs nowadays? Are you also aware how few have a newspaper subscription or buy them at a stand?

One time use though - for the vacuum cleaner and the house as well as the user

Actually now that I think about - excellent combo-deal

On your back obviously, do you even lift?

It is a crime to cross the Autobahn

It can already not be stealing since that requires the stolen object to be in fact a physical (and a moveable one at that) object. Stealing non-physical property does constitute a crime, but it’s not stealing.

Note: this is very specific to your country of origin and may not be true for your country or the applicable law in the case of international crime

Let then then, it’s nice and cool in the morgue and with some luck you can become an undead