Basically as long as a website doesn’t do shady shit with cookies no cookie banner is required.

That is actually the status quo. If a website only uses cookies that are needed to make the website function, there is no need for a banner or dialogue. These cookie banners are there deliberately to be annoying so you’ll agree to more than is necessary.

My not-yet-wife and I are in that situation rn. I’m on the taller side for a German and she’s average Asian height, so our size difference is bigger than in the comic. ><