Yeah, smart women are very attractive. That’s why I married one! (Best decision of my life.)

Yeah, I never knew my real ladder either.

Luckily I had a good extension ladder.

Inaccurate. With Trump you can always count on getting lies.

Hmm… that beet looks kinda similar to a human heart, wouldn’t you say? Is this a subtle suggestion?

“Sewing said that EU citizens work about 34 hours a week on average compared with about 28 hours in Germany.”

So the real take away here is the other EU citizens are working too hard.

Yeah… after a while.

Me too. The latest sensation: Avocado and canned peas.

Well whadaya know… that works.

Funny picture!

But GS cookies are pretty awful. They’re full of sugar and palm oil. Maybe if they offered something that’s actually good for us, and the world, they’d sell more?

So, in the bottom picture, the staff can only passively look at the far away screens?

“No touchy the keyboard!”

…beans work too!

Oh, from the title it looked like this was a statement by the oil industry - defending it’s profiteering in the face of climate change.

You know you’re in trouble when the seat sticks to your butt a little, then makes a loud noise when it falls.

Context?

The size of SUVs these days is getting out of hand.

Hasn’t JS6 got most of what jQuery offers?

Was expecting something like: “We’ve been trying to reach you about your horse and buggy warranty.”

Pavlov was sitting in a bar, enjoying a beer. When someone else came in, the door caused a bell to ring.

Pavlov jumped up: “Oh no, I forgot to feed the dog!”

“Listen,” said Ford, who was still engrossed in the sales brochure, “they make a big thing of the ship’s cybernetics. A new generation of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.”

“GPP feature?” said Arthur. “What’s that?”

“Oh, it says Genuine People Personalities.”

“Oh,” said Arthur, “sounds ghastly.”

A voice behind them said, “It is.” The voice was low and hopeless and accompanied by a slight clanking sound. They spun round and saw an abject steel man standing hunched in the doorway.

“What?” they said.

“Ghastly,” continued Marvin, “it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don’t even talk about it. Look at this door,” he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut into his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. “All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.”

As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

via: http://technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=135

Once in Southern California I experienced such thunder. It was an entirely different kind of experience from the normal rumbling, with the occasionally near strike. Even the lightning strikes that were pretty far away had the same hard sound. That was the first time that lightning actually frightened me.