Oh I’m not saying anything against it! I love that it leaves as much space as it does. Sometimes I just have to give it a little umpf to pass a semi because it sees the car waaay ahead and slows down.

Yeah, you still have to draw in all those values through lookups or just set the variables manually but if you keep getting a failed send or that shitty 500 error on a cloudpage, the try/catch block prevents it and will actually display the error. Should look something like this:

<script runat=“server”> Platform.Load(“Core”,“1.1.1”); try{ </script>

%%[ your AMPscript block goes here ]%%

<script runat=“server”> }catch(e){ Write(Stringify(e)); } </script>

SFMC is Salesforce’s red headed stepchild. The product has been neglected into the ground and they keep shoehorning random shit into it then neglecting that, too. Ad Studio, Social Studio, and Interaction Studio were all different things they bought and slapped a coat of SF branded paint on then let die. It is such a weird product but EVERYONE has it and it gives me pretty good job security knowing how to make it function about half the time.

My car’s “smart cruise control” leaves what seems to be around a car length for every 10 mph, which is what I remember hearing in driving school. Feels a bit excessive in practice, but I also never feel like I’m being an asshole so I’m okay with it.

Salesforce just gives me the other kind of CTE.

I’m 100% going to try this, but I have a feeling that it isn’t going to work in my application. Salesforce Marketing Cloud uses some pared-down old version of Transact-SQL and about half of the functions you’d expect to work just flat out don’t.

The joys of using a Salesforce product.

Wrap the Ampscript in an ssjs try/catch block and debug all your shit on a cloudpage. ;)

Everyone that works in SFMC for an extended period of time hates SFMC. Or at least has a love hate relationship with it. I think Salesforce is the most worthless company in existence and John Mulaney’s anti-SF rant at Dreamforce brought a little light to my life.

I very rarely actually use Ampscript anymore. Almost everything is done in ssjs in my instance. Thank fuck I’m not consulting anymore and don’t have to deal with other company’s stuff.

8/10 Server-side JavaScript

7/10 Ampscript

3/10 SQL

There is something about SQL that I can’t get to click with me. I can run basic queries and aggregation, but I can never get nested queries to work right.

All of these also assume I have access to documentation. Without documentation, all of them are like a 2. 🤷

I fuckin hate Nazis.

It’ll require a new mother fucking video platform. We need to just collectively let YouTube die and move on.