This person has never had to file an expense claim for meals that are paid by the employer.

Yes, it’s only a dollar or two. But it’s a dollar or two that my employer has to pay extra.

I once picked up one of those dirt cheap breakfast toasts from burger King. My expense report stated “Worst breakfast ever. Never again.”

I prefer the left road. The right one leads to a perception of being awkward AND stupid.

It is. Typo.

And I think Ralph Wiggum should be included just for that extended meta

Need to add Ralph Wiggum somehow