The fundamental difference between then and now is that there is no limitation to be had from refusing to invest in social connection. You can get the gear, do the dungeons, finish the quests, all without establishing a reputation.
(A big footnote: you could be a total jerk and still have powerful connections. This wasn’t a “be good or else” culture, though people were mostly nice to each other.)
In many ways, the way things are now is better: you had some terrible addictive patterns emerge in the older version of the game. People were obsessed, and the obsession would pay off! You’d accomplish more, the more you invested.
It’s also sad, though. I miss my old crowds. They were good folks, and many of us made bonds that lasted. It’s a shame that this isn’t really something that happens anymore.
I think there’s a lot of evidence backing you up. The Blizzard reps always said on the forums that they took forum chatter into consideration but had actual game and player metrics as well, and that they weighed that higher