Ellia Plissken

dude. I was at a Christian rehab center several years ago. this one kid came as a resident, his parents having been missionaries in Western Africa.

he kept having “seizures”, except he was completely conscious during them, he would just have fits where he would collapse to the ground and have uncontrollable muscle spasms. I’m pretty sure it was a form of panic attack, but some Christian hypnotherapist had hypnotized him, and “uncovered” a “suppressed memory” of some random African dragging him into the woods and putting a curse on him at knifepoint. when he was having a fit, one staff member would hold his head in a pillow to keep him from hurting himself, and somebody else would read the bible over him.

somehow, this curse was strong enough to overpower the word of god, but not a handful of xanax.

thagomizer

this is the second word that Gary Larson has added to the English language.

yep. I used to work on a paving crew, you have to wear long pants & sleeves no matter how hot the weather because the mix is coming out of the truck at 300°F and you don’t want any molten flecks getting on your skin. 75% of the crew has partially melted boot soles, but one of their wives just showed up with a box of joe in an insulated hot bag

it’s never too hot for hot coffee

you skipped over the part where PETA was infiltrated by a spy ring paid for by Barnum & Bailey and run by the former third highest ranking member of the CIA (who had been convicted of lying to Congress), using their operatives to, among other things, do and encourage behaviors that make the organization look extreme. this allowed it to be taken over by unstable fanatics and successfully destroyed its reputation

this is why Garfield hates mondays

it’s not even on Spotify

(I haven’t been following for updates I just remember the headlines when she pulled it)

we’ve sent them something like 700 arms shipments since october? we usually sanction governments that are committing genocide, too.

yeah and I hate it

apparently the noodles are served cold and that sounds awful as well

somebody explaining a component of the joke doesn’t mean that they didn’t get it.

then they realized pouring money into actual game studios with more cost-effective

I’ve been playing a lot of Space Invaders lately

there was a Law & Order Criminal Intent episode about that

I like to imagine my insides are a swamp and I need to drink water to keep the frogs healthy

I’ve been a stoner for years, you’re not going to get me with those

every once in awhile I remember I have internal organs and it gives me the ick

well he was making more than all of them combined

sorry, it’s 50% to the landfill, 22% illegally dumped or burned, and 19% incinerated.

https://www.oecd.org/en/about/news/press-releases/2022/02/plastic-pollution-is-growing-relentlessly-as-waste-management-and-recycling-fall-short.html