I work on-call. Any hour day or night. I frequently go back to sleep after getting called. I have like fifty alarms on my phone.

As an actual Locomotive Engineer (I drive freight trains) I am having a hard time conceptualizing the level of stupidity here.

Years ago we had the kids at the zoo. My son noticed something and called his little sister over (10 & 8 at the time). He said “look, those kids are about to get in trouble” while pointing at some kids chasing a swan on the other side of a river. Sure enough, their mom noticed and started yelling at them. Which made my kids erupt in laughter like it was the greatest thing.

Clearly you have never experienced fried cheese curds on a veal parmesan sandwich with ranch dressing.

Ok, neither have I but where I live in Wisconsin I’m pretty sure I could get that within thirty minutes or less.

Also poutine on a bun.