• foggy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    The wound is old but mostly healed. It’s her being diagnosed with cancer that makes it all weird.

    Like I hoped for it. Not exactly. Not the cancer, or disease, but everything that comes with it… it’s a weird mix of shame, guilt, pity, and ashamedly a little bit of a weird form of triumph. Like “she’s finally getting hers,” but then “…oh, fuck. Not like that…” Not a fun form of triumph, not sure if there’s a better word for that.

    There’s a weird piece that I’m very financially stable and if things were to have worked out with us she would t have a GoFundMe up. But at the same time, I’m unwilling to donate the final $1000 to meet her goal.

    It’s really a fucked up set of feelings.

    🥂 cheers

    • Risk@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don’t think you need to feel guilty about it. But at the same time, it sounds like you’d benefit from being able to put her behind you. How you get there I obviously can’t advise on.

      Good luck man. Congrats on the financial stability! I’m jealous ha.