You can definitely tell how old it is because both Rust and 3D printed guns have gotten way better.
And TypeScript is just the JavaScript sword, but with a cheap leather hilt.
It’s a heavy duty hilt that’s easily detachable by a small recessed switch labeled “any”.
(It does its job very well as long as you don’t opt out of using it)
because it makes it (type)safe to use…!
Also C# (or should I say the .net framework) is now cross platform, which wasn’t really the case when I first saw this meme.
This joke made sense when instead of .net you could only use Mono with C# on other platforms, which wasn’t very good at the time.
Yes, especially when you’re running linux, and the project you started on windows that uses serial ports suddenly doesn’t work any more and you wonder why.
Hint: The events for serial data received didn’t fire under mono, for reasons.
Mostly right. Microsoft showed off how .NET 1.0 worked on FreeBSD but it was absolutely pointless since they didn’t provide commercial licenses to run it on anything else but Windows until .NET Core.
And C# now can be taken off the donkey and mounted on a penguin and works rather well.
Through long and weary travels,* I bring the gift of source preserved by the workers of the great archives: https://web.archive.org/web/20140831164530/http://bjorn.tipling.com/if-programming-languages-were-weapons
* (they weren’t that bad honestly, a kind soul that took the journey 9 years ago made mine much shorter)
Thank you! The original source of truth! 💎 As IT people, this is part of our culture and should be transmitted. 🤣
It seems the image is a screenshot of the original page, slightly upscaled, but since the source page includes links to larger images we can make the HD remaster. Shotgun not me.
C++ and ruby are weird, especially since C is somehow considered a reliable rifle. Rust betrays it’s age
C is reliable in the sense that your C program reliably has memory leaks and security holes.
Unlike your Java program amirite.
The benefit of java is that you didn’t write the security holes in your software.
As does C#. The Windows-specific parts are not the parts most developers will use these days.
I took it as the donkey being .NET
C# is .Net though. It’s only syntax without it.
I think it’s definitely a dig at windows, because that used to be the primary issue with c#, you could only really target windows and you could only write it using windows. You could run .net framework applications on Linux, but it was a lot of work and it really underperformed (which would fit the timeline of 2015, when this comic was first posted). Now with .net core you can make a self contained executable that can run on anything.
You can even compile to a native executable these days I believe so you don’t have to have the .net runtime installed or bundled.
Agree. That one didn’t age well…
And does anything require Python v2 anymore? I work almost exclusively in Python and haven’t run into that in many years.
Old enough they still know Prolog.
And before the time people actually talked about the multidimensional clusterfuck that C become.
It’s funny because people describe PowerShell as powerful, but really they mean it’s also a hammer to mash everything with. “Powerfull!”
Powershell suffers from the typical Microsoft problem: Ignore for decades, and then go completely over the top with it.
I see Powershell as a nuclear bomb. It is extremely powerful and complex and barely anybody uses it because of it.
Isn’t powershell just bash but for windows?
Powershell is so much more than bash, not in a derogatory way.
It’s a full fledged object oriented programming language, and it’s written in .Net I believe. You can integrate tons of plugins to manage your whole infra (exchange, Cisco, AD, VMware etc), just from the Powershell shell.
I hate it because it’s slow, clunky and overly complex for its prime use, which is scripting.Yes and no. They serve roughly the same purpose.
I actually hated Powershell until I was forced to work on some automation scripts with it and realized that it’s actually pretty cool.
Bash is good for quickly doing something in the terminal but for longer script files I prefer PS now. It feels much more modern and has a less janky syntax.
Funnily enough the reason I had to use it was to make my scripts cross platform between osx, linux and windows.
It’s a pretty good representation of Rust, being 3d printed means that it’s the only gun where you can’t shoot yourself in the foot
[flips safety off[
Yet
But it can just blow up in your face
“perl was probably useful once”?!
I’m willing to bet a TON of medical and banking data is still making its way through perl today. (I’m not necessarily saying this is a good thing, but I have years of experience in healthcare IT).
For that matter, there are still folks out there coding, professionally, in FORTRAN.
Thing is, back then, we didn’t know any better. Software was a commodity, and both the people who wrote it and the people who bought it had grown up in a time before the internet, before SaaS; people whose parents who, if they made things, made widgets.
Back then, you could write a piece of software, and it was done. Then you sold it, and moved on. If the old software had bugs, if they weren’t catastrophic enough to cause a lawsuit, buyers learned to live with them. It was too bad; you already shipped the tapes. And few companies employed their own software developers unless they were software development companies. Man pages have a BUGS section, and that’s because there’s no intention to ever fix those bugs, because that software is done.
Software today is never finished. Our first reaction if we see a project with no recent releases is that it’s abandoned, or dead, and certainly that it’s worse than a project with recent commits to the repo. Github is a huge culprit in reinforcing this mentality, but mobile app platforms (stores and OSes) are terrible about this, too. Google constantly changes the Play store in ways that force developers to tweak their apps lest they become incompatible, booted, or get flagged as being “old” a.k.a. “inferior.”
Yet, still, there’s so much software out there that’s complete. An institution may hire a developer to come in and make a change, but it’s usually a contract one-off; it’s more like taking your car in to have the starter replaced. Those systems are going to continue keeping “dead” programming languages (commercially) alive for years to come.
I use perl for that stuff (mostly automation) that’s a bit too complex for bash, but doesn’t need a proper project. Modern people would use python for this kind of thing. But, I’m too old to change!
and perl is orders of magnitude faster than python for document parsing
haha php bad, kill yourself 👌 lolol 💯👌👌😂😂😂
If you’re going to make these “If programming languages were X” jokes, at least be a little bit creative with them.
It’s an old sharepic, they didn’t make it.
PHP is a sturdy club. You aren’t going to take over the world with it but you can reliably put a dent in something.
but like, wasn’t facebook written in php and didn’t it kind of take over, about as much as any programming whatzit ever has? (not saying that was a good thing, but yeah…)
Maybe try a different lemmy client, it loads fine for me in sync
Fine on Liftoff as well
It’s a very large image, so many clients load a scaled down version. On Boost at least you can press the HD icon and it loads the fullsize images where stuff is legible.
LISP is most accurate
Fuck a bunch of 50000 pixel tall images
back in my day that took 3 hours to download
And someone would pick up the phone 30seconds from the end, and there was no resume!
In my day it looks like shit
(?(bruv(,(problem(a(got(you(,(Oi)))))))))
Wheres assembly? Lol
Assembly is a scrapheap with every sort of technology imaginable but it’s all broken. Could be an iron man suit, or you could just grab a length of rebar.
This reminds me of shooting yourself in the foot in various programming languages
I wonder what Erlang/Elixir would be, some kind of nano-bot hive mind?
Malbolge would be a bioweapon and you’re patient zero
