• Cyrus Draegur@lemm.eeEnglish
    92·
    1 year ago

    No worries, homie!

    He gave you IMMORTALITY, didn’t say nothin’ about remaining conscious!

    And while suffocation due to CO2 accumulation doesn’t feel nice, HYPOXIA ON THE OTHER HAND FEELS AMAZING!

    So:
    step 1: shut off your oxygen feed and your suit heat
    step 2: let the CO2 scrubbers do their job
    step 3: breathe easy because you still have the ambient nitrogen mix component

    pretty soon you’re gonna feel floaty, dizzy, and giddy - you’re gonna feel exhilarated, a real I CAN DO IT vibe - and then as a tingly and warm sensation engulfs your entire body, you will begin to feel HELLA sleepy.

    then your immortal body will go into a state of persistent dormancy, preserved by the cold, purified by the radiation.

    if you are EVER found (assuming you ever are… and if you aren’t, you won’t be in any condition to care!) and your rescuers expose you to an atmosphere your body can actually use, you will AWAKEN and be able to pick up however many days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, or millennia later, and resume living a life, even if it isn’t necessarily the one you once knew.

    • RealFknNito@lemmy.worldEnglish
      39·
      1 year ago

      And should you be abducted by the gravity of any celestial body you will feel pain unimaginable for however long your nerves last, stranded on something that nobody else will ever discover to live out the heat death of the universe in a constant cycle of pain (if you can regenerate lost nerves) or as a mangled sentient* meat pile (if you can’t regenerate) all because you were given Immortality and not Invulnerability.

      • Assuming you haven’t entirely lost your mind by now.
      • jacktherippah@lemmy.world
        3·
        1 year ago

        Lmfao I was reading the parent comment thinking “hey thats actually pretty decent” and then you hit me with this. Instant “oh…”