[Jesus sits on a rock, speaking]
A new command I give you:
Love one another
[an angry character talks back to Jesus]
What if they’re something bad like gay, trans, brown, or communist though?
[Jesus is facepalming on his rock]
I don’t want to be a messiah anymore


The real reason he was crucified. You need to go to the apocrypha of Thomas to find out about how many times he ran over Lazarus with that mule before he skipped town for three days.
I’ve read Thomas. Jesus was real little shit as a kid. I guess being all-powerful is hard to handle as grade schooler.