First, queer folks are more likely to be kinky. Since they had to figure out what clicks for them at least once, they tend to do it on multiple aspects of their identities.
Secondly - and this one is more of a personal standpoint - I’d argue that kinks fall under the wider umbrella of queerness or GRSM (Gender Relational and Sexual Minorities which I find way better than an enumeration acronym).
I’d also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.
Also don’t forget the historic aspect – when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we’ve evolved to be socially acceptable doesn’t mean we should leave everyone else behind
FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It’s not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it’s mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator’s playground - but again, that’s true of any social media platform.
I don’t know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.
It’s like dude, there is nothing for you there, it’s their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It’s quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma’s quilting circle.
I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.
I felt the same way initially, just because I hadn’t really been exposed to it prior, and had a lot of misgivings. I found Kat Blaque’s video on the subject quite helpful just in giving context – well worth a watch!
Thanks for the answer. Although, I still don’t really get it.
I’ve heard that the kink community has a rule that people shouldn’t expose their fetishes to non-consenting strangers. Why on pride parades then? Isn’t engaging in these sort of activities here kind of wrong, like how you can’t just go out nude or have sex in public?
It really depends on where you are and what sort of Pride event it is. If it’s a Pride march with lots of corporate sponsors, then you’ll see very little kink, maybe someone in full rubber, but probably no jockstraps. If it’s a ticketed gay village party, or a circuit party, you’ll definitely see some more risque kink gear being worn. If you’re at Folsom or in Berlin, there’s whole parades dedicated to kink, but even the straight public know about that, so if they don’t like it, they can avoid the area during those events.
Where is the widespread problem of kink in the streets? I’ve never heard of a huge kink problem at pride events other than pearl clutching mothers who object to queer people in public in general.
Where are you seeing a large number of kinky people causing real problems in public?
My point is that you seem to be worried about an imaginary issue that, at worst, is something that is isolated to specific pride events that are geared towards adult sexual expression. Just because it makes you uncomfortable or you don’t consider it LGBTQ doesn’t mean it needs to be changed.
Let me also ask you what you think about nude bike rides, where dozens, if not hundreds, of people cycle nude through a city. Is that too much for you?
What has a fire in a park got to do with what we’re discussing?
Nudity at Pride is rare, can happen, but it’s not exclusive to Pride. And also something that I think attitudes should change on. Nudity is not something that people should fear, nor should they be shamed if they are happy being nude.
Doesn’t nudity reinforce lookism, and gives disadvantage to the people with invisible bodily defects? Let alone that some people do not want to see nudes.
This is my personal opinion and it might not reflect the wider community’s. I’m not even giving a straight answer, just some points to think about ^^
First and foremost Pride isn’t a singular event. Some are more celebratory and family friendly. But imho it’s original purpose is a protest and protests aren’t subject to the same rules as other places and times. e.g. you don’t tend to shout in the street everyday.
Secondly this rule as an absolute doesn’t make a lot of sense. Even without critiquing the wider society’s rules a choker isn’t the same as a full puppy outfit. (and tbf I don’t see the issue with pups, it’s just dress up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Lastly, I personally find that view kinda rooted in puritanism. Why should it be shameful in the first place? It kinda has “don’t ask don’t tell” vibes.
Lastly, how do you precisely define what’s a kink and what’s not?
I recommended this to someone else in the thread too, but I found Kat Blaque’s video really helpful as an explanation, because if you’re not familiar with the subculture the reasoning can be quite confusing.
I’ve yet to see a Pride event that didn’t have it, even in relatively conservative cities like Houston.
And if so, what does that have to do with LGBTQ+?
What does dressing up as an Astronaut have to do with All Hallow’s Eve? It’s a big party and people are expressing themselves. You don’t have to take it farther than that.
Hold on. Apologies for being out of the loop, but do people really bring sexual fetish stuff to a pride parade?
And if so, what does that have to do with LGBTQ+?
Imho there are two angles to this question:
I’d also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.
Also don’t forget the historic aspect – when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we’ve evolved to be socially acceptable doesn’t mean we should leave everyone else behind
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FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It’s not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it’s mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator’s playground - but again, that’s true of any social media platform.
Define more problematic sex clubs
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I don’t know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.
It’s like dude, there is nothing for you there, it’s their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It’s quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma’s quilting circle.
I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.
I felt the same way initially, just because I hadn’t really been exposed to it prior, and had a lot of misgivings. I found Kat Blaque’s video on the subject quite helpful just in giving context – well worth a watch!
Think you should ask them first, but no one ever asks the autistic anything
Unless it’s Etymology Nerd, in which case the answer is “I made a creole of my bird and dolphin languages.” and it’s glorious.
Can recommend his videos, they are excellent.
I asked myself and then said yes. :p
Thanks for the answer. Although, I still don’t really get it.
I’ve heard that the kink community has a rule that people shouldn’t expose their fetishes to non-consenting strangers. Why on pride parades then? Isn’t engaging in these sort of activities here kind of wrong, like how you can’t just go out nude or have sex in public?
It really depends on where you are and what sort of Pride event it is. If it’s a Pride march with lots of corporate sponsors, then you’ll see very little kink, maybe someone in full rubber, but probably no jockstraps. If it’s a ticketed gay village party, or a circuit party, you’ll definitely see some more risque kink gear being worn. If you’re at Folsom or in Berlin, there’s whole parades dedicated to kink, but even the straight public know about that, so if they don’t like it, they can avoid the area during those events.
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Where is the widespread problem of kink in the streets? I’ve never heard of a huge kink problem at pride events other than pearl clutching mothers who object to queer people in public in general.
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Where are you seeing a large number of kinky people causing real problems in public?
My point is that you seem to be worried about an imaginary issue that, at worst, is something that is isolated to specific pride events that are geared towards adult sexual expression. Just because it makes you uncomfortable or you don’t consider it LGBTQ doesn’t mean it needs to be changed.
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Define too far.
Let me also ask you what you think about nude bike rides, where dozens, if not hundreds, of people cycle nude through a city. Is that too much for you?
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What has a fire in a park got to do with what we’re discussing?
Nudity at Pride is rare, can happen, but it’s not exclusive to Pride. And also something that I think attitudes should change on. Nudity is not something that people should fear, nor should they be shamed if they are happy being nude.
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Doesn’t nudity reinforce lookism, and gives disadvantage to the people with invisible bodily defects? Let alone that some people do not want to see nudes.
I’m not OP, but just wanted to say, I perceive any nudity in public too far. Maybe it’s cultural.
This is my personal opinion and it might not reflect the wider community’s. I’m not even giving a straight answer, just some points to think about ^^
First and foremost Pride isn’t a singular event. Some are more celebratory and family friendly. But imho it’s original purpose is a protest and protests aren’t subject to the same rules as other places and times. e.g. you don’t tend to shout in the street everyday.
Secondly this rule as an absolute doesn’t make a lot of sense. Even without critiquing the wider society’s rules a choker isn’t the same as a full puppy outfit. (and tbf I don’t see the issue with pups, it’s just dress up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Lastly, I personally find that view kinda rooted in puritanism. Why should it be shameful in the first place? It kinda has “don’t ask don’t tell” vibes.
Lastly, how do you precisely define what’s a kink and what’s not?
I recommended this to someone else in the thread too, but I found Kat Blaque’s video really helpful as an explanation, because if you’re not familiar with the subculture the reasoning can be quite confusing.
I’ve yet to see a Pride event that didn’t have it, even in relatively conservative cities like Houston.
What does dressing up as an Astronaut have to do with All Hallow’s Eve? It’s a big party and people are expressing themselves. You don’t have to take it farther than that.