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MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago

Driving out the devil with the beelzebub

lemmy.today

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Driving out the devil with the beelzebub

lemmy.today

MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today to memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Lung cancer deluxe speedrun any%

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      1 year ago

      I sure hope I’m not going to hell for laughing at this.

      • Mac@mander.xyz
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        1 year ago

        You’re already here

        • bruhduh@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Since 2019

        • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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          1 year ago

          “We in hell already our dumbasses not knowing”

  • pivot_root@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Oh, fun! It was blue asbestos, too. They couldn’t have made it any more carcinogenic if they tried.

    Source: https://www.asbestos.com/products/cigarette-filters/

    Credit to @partial_accumen@lemmy.world for finding the source.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      1 year ago

      Why settle for regular cancer if you can have TURBO cancer?

      • Ignotum@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I want my tumors to get tumors!

        • Kaity@leminal.space
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          1 year ago

          the secret was here the whole time, use cancer to cure the cancer! Finally, I can be proud of my astrology sign!

      • psmgx@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Turbo is clearly better, no?

  • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “Ok, so…I guess now we need to dip them in arsenic to prevent bacterial infection. And we could also irradiate them to make sure the viruses are all dead!”

    “Yeah, man. We’ll have the healthiest cigarettes on the market!”

    • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Throw some lead based paint on the box and baby, you got a stew goin’

    • marcos@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      And we could also irradiate them

      It will be expensive, but make sure you find a neutron source. Don’t settle for the stuff that basically everybody uses for irradiating things.

      • JTheDoc@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        We don’t want no pansy electron beam irradiators! Full ompf ionozation please.

      • Hagdos@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Irradiating won’t harm the smoker though. You need to put a radiation source in the cigarette to do harm.

        • marcos@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          That’s what neutron radiation does…

          • JTheDoc@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Thankfully for Hagdos, he’s not working around neutron irradiators or that’d be a gruesome lesson.

  • TIMMAY@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      1 year ago

      Just fuck my shit up

      • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Just fuck my lungs up

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    Here’s some cancer to help protect you from all the cancer.

    • fidodo@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The new cancer kills the old cancer

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        And it kills Jack.

  • Philo@lemmy.zipBanned
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    1 year ago

    Removed by mod

    • patient_tech@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s an addictive drug. Like Dennis Leary said, you could name them Death and make the packaging black with a skull and crossbones and people would buy two at a time.

      • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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        1 year ago

        Is that why they are marketing water like this now?

        I KNEW it was fishy. I’m going to stick to soda, vodka and beer instead, thank you very much.

        • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          That’s water for people who want to avoid alcohol in a crowd and don’t want rando douchebags commenting on drinking water. That water saves a lot of headache for the user in the right circumstances and I will never fault it for that.

          • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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            1 year ago

            Fair enough.

          • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            I have also bought one of these with a beer cuz it’s in a can and survives my walk through the crowd and it’s not a plastic bottle.

          • MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works
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            I feel like liquid death is so widely known now that the initial idea for it didn’t work anymore. Still, I’m a hydrohomie so I’m so good peeps driving it but I’d personally rather just get some tap water with a tiny bit of cordial in it at a gig or something

        • kautau@lemmy.world
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          I really don’t know how this brand is thriving. I can’t tell if people are buying it ironically or buying it because they think it’s edgy

          • Daxtron2@startrek.website
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            1 year ago

            It’s often the only water I see available at concerts these days. I mean it’s fine, it tastes like water, and the can is more recyclable than plastic bottles.

            • kboy101222@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              They pay live nation a fortune to be the exclusive water. Love nation then charges $5+ a can

              They do get immediately recycled though. At least in the venue I worked at

              • MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works
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                God I fucking hate it when I buy a can of water and it immediately turns into something else. Why did they sell me an instant recyclable can? I still need it to be a can, at least for a little bit

            • kautau@lemmy.world
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              That’s true, not bashing the idea of water in a can, just makes me laugh that the brand is like “our product goes so hard” when it’s just water in a can. I guess product design can make all the difference. I would be more likely to buy it if it was like no name https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Name_(brand) and was just SPRING WATER on a can

              • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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                1 year ago

                It’s a good option to have in settings where you don’t want to drink but might get shit for not drinking.

                • TimeNaan@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Jeez, I’d rather just not be in such a toxic crowd.

            • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              Can survives the walk back through the crowd better IMO

          • The Assman@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            Cool can

        • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Naw for alcoholics

      • gimsy@feddit.it
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        1 year ago

        They did: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_(cigarette)

        • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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          that packaging is fucking sick, god damn

      • Philo@lemmy.zipBanned
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        Removed by mod

      • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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        In fact, thats how people buy cigarettes in every country that isnt the US. And they still keep smoking.

      • db2@lemmy.world
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        The really addictive part isn’t even the nicotine though, it’s the several MAOI antidepressant compounds that are created when it gets burnt.

        • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world
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          It’s the nicotine.

      • Frozengyro@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        "you could put them in a black pack, with a skull and cross bones, called Tumors! And people would be lining up around the block going, “these things look great, I bet you get a tumor as soon as you light up!”

        Or something like that.

      • dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        We kinda did this in the UK. All generic black packaging is with knarly images.

      • MonkderZweite@feddit.ch
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        1 year ago

        caner warning

  • prettydarknwild@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    C(ancer)++

  • set_secret@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    jesus, blue asbestos too the literal worst of them…

  • fckreddit@lemmy.ml
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    Corporations being corporations.

  • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    That’s-a one spicy devil stick!

    • Rascabin@lemmy.ml
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      You like-a deh filter, eh?

  • rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de
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    Holy shit, how long would one live without lung cancer smoking these? Directly inhaling fibers which never will leave your lung again. Did anyone smoke these for the years they existed and lived without lung cancer?

    • charles@lemmy.ca
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      From the asbestos.com link someone else posted:

      Asbestos exposure is the primary cause of pleural mesothelioma, a rare and aggressive cancer, but inhaling asbestos also multiplies a smoker’s risk of developing lung cancer fiftyfold or greater.

      The carcinogenic risk of asbestos exposure and cigarette smoking is exponentially higher than the risk of each exposure added. This is known as the synergistic effect of asbestos exposure and smoking.

  • r3df0x ✡️✝☪️@7.62x54r.ru
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    It reminds me of slavaboos breathing through asbestos gas mask filters.

  • NutWrench@lemmy.world
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    I remember the “micronite” filter in their advertisements. I had no idea it was made out of freaking asbestos.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      It’s accurate, I checked it myself: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/kent-cigarettes-asbestos-filters/

  • thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world
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    What’s the point of trying to filter the smoke anyway. The smoke is the part that gives you the feeling. If you put a full air filter on the front end of a cigarette and took a clean breath of air why the fuck would you buy cigarettes. I get a light filter makes it less harsh but jeez

    • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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      The filter is there to catch big stuff that’ll make you gag. The microscopic ash particles are what you want to inhale, not the 2mm wide chunks

    • yetiftw@lemmy.world
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      the nicotine gives you the feeling, not the smoke itself

      • thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world
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        What do you think the nicotine rides on to get to your lungs?

        • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world
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          Chariots pulled by air sprites

        • Noodle07@lemmy.world
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          It rides on bad ideas

        • douglasg14b@lemmy.world
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          You mean the vapor?

          You… You do know that modern cigarettes have filters right…?

      • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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        Technically correct.

    • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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      Based. Just get some papers and roll that shit yourself, like a joint. Put a roach in there to keep that tobacco out of your mouth, good to go.

  • LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
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    I miss r/asbestosremovalmemes. It wasn’t a big enough community to try to replicate here on Lemmy. Asbestos memes are so goddamn funny to me.

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